taeomi: if i post things that you don’t like and you still follow me i hope you find $20 on the ground today
fleshpound: a man walks into a bar and the bartender asks “hey why the long face?” the man ignores the bartender and orders his drink
adrians: if I was in the hunger games I’d just get mcdonalds as a sponsor but instead of just eating the big macs they’d send me during the games I’d use them as bait to trap people and every time I’d made a kill I’d look up to the sky, give a thumbs and whisper “I’m lovin’ it”
period: WAKE UP ASSHOLE, YOU GOT CRAMPS.
period: How bout an entire chocolate cake for breakfast?
period: How's that back pain? Feeling better? Let's fix that.
period: Corneas glance by a VS magazine on the table. Instantly horny.
period: Find a cookie as big as a house and eat it.
period: See a male specimen of any kind. Instantly horny.
period: Where's your Tic Tac box filled with ibuprofen?
period: Got things to do? Don't care. Sleep.
period: See a female specimen of any kind. Instantly horny.
period: For dinner you're eating an entire bag of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
period: Breeze blows by. Instantly horny.
period: You didn't like those brand new underwear right?
period: Yell at a puppy.
period: Close eyes and wait for repeat tomorrow.
alice-unchained: my dad ate a cucumber today and he was like “wow this is pretty cold” and then he just slowly put the cucumber down and stared into space for a really long time until he turned to me with wide eyes and quietly said, “oh my god. cool as a cucumber.”
nintendoggystyle: i miss being a fetus
h0odrich: i woke up on the wrong side of my life
deathc0r3: “Ugh I’m so sick of living here.” the upperclass white girl tweeted on her 32gb white iPhone 4S while listening to music on her 15 inch Mac Book Pro laying on her king sized bed in her air conditioned two story suburban home after her parents refused to buy her the 2013 edition of her 2012 car.
camwhorin: *drops the bass*
e-ridan: why do i keep losing followers where are you all going can i come
olmes: I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU ALL ARE DOING BUT IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED BREAKING BAD YET, YOU HAVE 19 DAYS TO FINISH 4 SEASONS SO YOU BETTER GET ON THAT
do you ever read people’s urls the completely wrong way and then one day realise what they actually say/mean and it’s like everything finally makes sense